Not gone for good....but gone....his work has him traveling extensively over the next few months. I recently started a new job to get out of the house a little bit and make a difference in the world. (I'm not a millennial but I seem to talk like one sometimes?) So our household is in transition. A few things I have noticed...all this time I thought it was him who left the closet light on. Surprise surprise I guess it was me. Who knew LOL! I don't feel as motivated to cook dinner. My teenage son has noticed this and my husband has been jealous of the takeout we have had this week. And finally, it is so quiet! My husband is an introvert. He is quiet, sweet, and so very professional. We knew we were opposites from the beginning. But his evening respite is NOT QUIET! The TV is a staple in his household. When he isn't home we really don't have the TV on. Sooooo no home cooked meals and no TV. As I have time to think I reflect on the fact that I have blamed him for the lights in the closet for YEARS...PEOPLE....YEARS! I never mentioned it to him that I can remember. But I have kept it in my mind. It NEVER dawned on me that it was actually me. So! What else am I responsible for that I have blamed on him. Or even outside of the house as well? This is not a comfortable train of thought for me. Personal accountability is ok if you think you know why. But to rethink everything is a bit of a drag! The other deep thought is what do I do for him that he has actually asked me to do and what I "think" he wants me to do when in reality maybe he doesn't care? Communication is vitally important. VITAL! As a wife I have a mental picture or checklist of what I think a good wife does. Sometimes this list is overwhelming and I fail. Then I get upset and it demonstrates itself into an attitude impacting my family. Catch 22. Repeat. A few months ago a speaker at our church mentioned that he tried to do things for his family to show his love. It didn't seem to make a difference to them. So then he prayed and asked God what he should do for his wife and family. He felt like God asked him to do little things he would never had thought were important. Lo and behold a huge difference took place. His wife asked him what was going on! She noticed. So this week my conclusion is this. I need to take more time in prayer and listening instead of in my head and writing check lists!
