Youth 101

I know some of you may not be interested in this but I had a request to post it for quick reference.....

Youth Leadership 101

ARE YOU CALLED?:
A friend once told me that if you are called to ministry there is no way you can stay out of it. Meaning that all of a sudden you find yourself in charge of groups or activities that you never signed up for. If you find that you are driving for youth activities and you aren’t even a parent of a youth, if you find that you are called to pray for the youth in your church, if you find yourself as a counselor at camp, if you find yourself always sitting in the “youth section” at any church you visit…you might be called to youth ministry. IF YOU LIKE TEENAGERS…you might be called to youth ministry. I know, I know, it may be hard to believe but some people don’t enjoy hanging out with teenagers. Once you break “youth” code and can understand their humor you are home free. Please see current issues for more information on breaking the code. If you go to the fair, the mall or a concert and feel like crying when you see teenagers with out God, parents, or friends…you might be called to youth ministry. If you get chills when you see teenagers worship God….you might be called to youth ministry.

OLD MINDSET:
I will go ahead and say this now. If you feel like you are called to ministry and you feel like being a youth pastor would be a good place to start to receive training and experience before you step into a senior pastor position, PLEASE RECONSIDER. This is an old mindset. There is no Jr. Holy Spirit. So why would a youth group be considered a step down? Most people get saved before they are 18 years old. Teenagers are some of the most fertile soil to plant seeds in. Teenagers are figuring out the course they are going to follow in life. They are discovering where they are called to minister. Whether it is in politics, nursing, 5 fold ministry or as a stay at home parent. Please don’t belittle the ministry that takes place in youth. IT IS NOT A STEPPING STONE!

SENIOR LEADERSHIP (Submission):
Youth pastors can often get the title of the black sheep in the church. Why is this? Is it because they are always pushing that subtle grey line? Or is it because they don’t submit to authority? Youth pastors should NEVER walk in rebellion. Everything should be submitted to the Senior Pastor of the church. Authority is very clear in the Bible. Youth Pastors…submit.

STARTING A YOUTH MINISTRY?:
SMALL CHURCH:
Let me guess, you are sitting in church when they announce that they need someone to volunteer to teach the youth. You look around expecting numerous hands to raise and see nothing. Not really understanding what the hold up is…you wait a couple weeks for someone more gifted to step in and realize nobody has stepped up. So, you go to the pastor and say you would be interested in volunteering. Then the fun begins.
Step one: Get a complete list of all the youth in your church between the ages of 12-18. A complete list includes youth that may not always live with the members of the church but will attend periodically. Call every teenager on the list and invite them to the first meeting. The first meeting should be a blast. Games, give aways, loud music and of course an upbeat prayer. Plan a parents meeting to follow soon after and share your short term goals, long term goals, personal testimony, and discipline policy.
LARGE CHURCH:
Praise God, you already have an established ministry to step into. First suggestion-Slow down. Don’t come in with guns blazing no matter what you have heard. Discover needs. You are a servant of the Lord. Not a dictator. Find out what the needs of the youth, the parents, and the church are, then build a battle plan. Who are your volunteers, what are the golden calves that can’t be touched, what is loved, what is hated? And of course, PRAY< PRAY< PRAY.
MERGING YOUTH GROUPS:
Fun, fun, my husband and I did this twice in 6 months. RELAX! The teenagers are confused and defensive enough, they do not need any more excitement. They are loyal to the side they came from. Never come against things that were done in the past. Do a new thing. Listen a lot. Play games. Break open the bible and chill out. After a few months name the “new “ youth group, develop T-shirts, and have a lock in.
AGE GROUPS:
JR HIGH:
6th-8th grade. Very enjoyable age group. Always willing to participate and go all out in games. Don’t want to talk about sex…ever. Stick with the fruits of the spirit. They are ready to learn about life from a Christian perspective. Be careful what you say to this age group. Everything you say will be considered law to them and anything not clear will be presented to their parents construed and out of whack.
HIGH SCHOOL:
Be prepared. High School youth will challenge you in every way possible. If you say the Bible says it, be ready to show them where. They will ask you sex questions with a boldness that will take away your breath. Don’t underestimate these kids. The days of innocence are gone, they may try to play dumb but they know what is going on. They don’t lie but they will manipulate conversation to find answers to tough questions they are dealing with at home and at school. They want to know you not only love them but that you like them. Therefore, they will try to explore boundaries and see where your weaknesses are. Warning: for this age group, avoid trying to be cool and hip with them all the time. You are a youth pastor not their best friend. Self check; if you find all your friends are under 18, you need to step back and find some mature friends your age that can help you maintain reality.

BIBLE:
Please bring the Bible into every service and every activity. The Bible is one of the only constant things these youth will have. Show them the map to life every chance you get. Please don’t make every event a huge stage for your fantastic speaking ability. A few scriptures and prayer will suffice.

EXPECTATIONS:
Always communicate expectations to the youth, parents, leadership, and volunteers. Set everyone up to be successful. People around you can not read your mind no matter how many years you have been around each other. Put your goals and expectations in writing and have yearly meetings to discuss these goals.

NOT JUST A YOUTH PASTOR:
Youth Pastors can sometimes become focused on the youth and only the youth. The youth pastor plays an important role of helping bridge the gap between generations in the church. The children should be excited to “graduate” to youth at the appropriate age and by then the youth pastor should know who is coming in and their ages. The youth pastor should have a relationship with the children’s pastor so communication is open about the student moving in. What are this child’s spiritual gifts, what kind of relationships do they have with their family, do they respect authority, are they saved? (See attachment A). Youth pastors also should have teenagers ready to step into servant roles in the adult congregation immediately upon graduation. Youth Pastors are not just youth pastors, please make yourself available to your senior pastor as a servant for the workings of the church. The church always needs help in the nursery, in the office, alter time etc.

PROTECT YOURSELF:
RELEASE FORMS:
I’m sorry to say it but, WATCH OUT, yes, those lovable little teenagers can get you into REAL trouble. Signed release forms must be signed for any type of church activity. Youth pastors are sued every day for physical and emotional damages. Please protect yourself. John 10:10 The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy.

PERSONAL SUGGESTIONS:
Never be alone with a teenager of the opposite sex. Confrontation should always be done with a reputable witness and documented for the students file. Be courteous of family beliefs. Our job is not to prepare the teenager with all the correct theological information to be better prepared to debate with their parents.

MISSIONS:
Matthew 26: Go ye therefore into all nations. Missions is so much fun with teenagers! When they realize that God is not American it is a truly significant moment. We recommend going on a missions trip every other year. The reason we recommend this is financially it is easier on the church. It gives the youth something to strive for. It gives the youth time to mature. And it gives you an opportunity to strongly encourage camp involvement every other year.

CAMP:
What a fantastic opportunity to relax and have some fun with your teenagers. Camp allows an expectation for hard lessons to be taught into the lives of the students. They will allow other spirit filled leaders to speak into their lives things that they don’t even want to touch at home. Fantastic. Encourage them to ask the hard questions. Encourage them to bring as many friends as possible. Camp is a great evangelistic opportunity.

DISCIPLINE:
Teenagers want clear guidelines on discipline. We have two rules in our youth group. Number 1- Don’t get us in trouble and number 2-you have to see one of the youth leaders at all times. This has been very effective for our youth groups. First of all they realize their actions will affect us. And second of all, if you can see what they are doing and they can see you they won’t be getting away with anything out of line. Of course we discuss the possible ways they could get us in trouble and always get a chuckle out of the creativity they portray. Side note, discipline concerning biblical morals should always be address on the spot. Indecent dress, public displays of affection, anger outburst, and disrespect should never be tolerated.

MONEY:
One of the easiest pitfalls to fall into is concerning money. It seems so easy to reach into your pocket for some loose change for one of the student to have a coke or to play a video game. Can you believe that such a simple reaction can cause intense feelings of rejection, favoritism, and sometimes a call from parents? That’s right. The only way to fix this problem is to give to every teenager in the youth group.

FUNDRAISERS:
If fundraisers are made available at least 4 times a year it will allow you the freedom to plan larger dollar events. It is always a good idea to vocalize that students will not get outside sponsorship of events unless they participate in fundraisers. Let me clarify this. When an offering is taken up or if God lays on someones heart to give specifically this is different. If a generous soul walks up to you and offers to give to a student if there is a need, I suggest only giving to those who have already put forth some effort and have worked. This is a great teaching time and also prepares them for the adult world.

CURRENT ISSUES:
If you are a youth pastor or a parent of a teenager it is vital to be up to date on current issues. Yes, it is ok to watch MTV. Not to the point where you enjoy it…however, if you don’t know what the teens are talking about then how can you tell them if it is right or wrong? They know when you are real and when you are fake. If you blanket all of MTV as wrong they will tune you out super fast. Yes, most of it is overboard…however, its amazing how you can break the code of humor, style, and “coolness” when you watch 10 minutes of MTV news. It gives you a heads up to what is really going on in their world. Internet and cell phones are a must in youth ministry. We can not tell you how many times a teenager has opened up online via chatting or IMs. They will talk very open about their lives when they aren’t face to face. It also allows some one on one time to talk to them in their comfort zone without any intimidation or judgement. Find out what web sites they visit, what games they play, and who they chat with. You now know 50% more than any other adult in their lives.

FAMILY GUIDELINES: DEALING WITH PARENTS:

The parents are the number one authority in the life of every teenager! Learn this now and it will save you pain later. No matter how solid your beliefs are, no matter how great a program you have planned, no matter what the teenager says, if the parents don’t support you, you have nothing.


This is just a little bit of my opinion regarding youth issues....I will share more later I am sure.